Celebrating life stories...

Memories

 

This memorial is sponsored by:

Shelli Stuart

Memorial created 11-24-2008 by
Shelli Stuart
Haylee Danyelle Mazzella
July 13 2001 - June 3 2006

 

 

 

Written by:

Sonya Mazzella (Mommy)  

 
Haylee loved to play and to be outside.
 
She was the most generous of us all.
 
She loved and enjoyed the simple things
 
in life, the ones we all take for
 
 granted. Although she was a girl she
 
 had her tomboy side, she loved to catch
 
lizards and keep them for pets. She
 
 
 
 
enjoyed helping DaDa in their garden 
 
or cutting grass, just as long as they
 
were together she was happy. And her
 
favorite toys of all time to play with
 
were dinosaurs. Any type, shape, or
 
size -- she loved to create "The Land
 
Before Time” scenes; we all loved to
 
watch her imagination illuminate us.  
                       
Nevertheless, she loved to get into
 
mommy's makeup box and together we
 
would dress her up and laugh at how
 
much fun it was just to be together. I
 
miss her more every day. These are just
 
several of the millions of things that I
 
miss the most: her smell, her sounds,
 
her touch, the excitement she gave off
  
when she would see me, her beautiful
  
sweet smile, her crinkly nose, her feet
  
in her flip flops, her laugh, her
  
beautiful face, her inner joy, her
  
love for her brother and Shelby
  
(cousin), them giggling as they played,
 
her love of learning, her love of
  
animals, her love for me and our family,
 
her love for others, her desire to try
 
hard and be good. I admired her will to
 
try new things and say yes or no, but
 
she was willing to try. I was proud of
 
her generous spirit that made it easy
 
for her to love in such a cruel world,
 
it came so naturally.

I miss seeing her play with Bubba and
 
always being concerned for his welfare.
 
She adored him unlike any sibling I have
  
ever seen. They would play for hours
 
together. She really liked having a
 
brother, and she was always kind. If he
 
pulled her hair she wouldn’t hit him
 
‘cause she said,” I can’t hurt him he's a
 
baby and he’s my brother” They loved
 
each other dearly. Although I miss
 
these and many more, MeMaw and I
 
especially miss her telling us out of the
 
blue: in the car, at the store, riding
 
bikes, at the park, any odd time –
 
MOMMY / MEMAW I LOVE YOU – and
 
because of the way she said it we knew
 
it was true deep down from her sweet
 
little heart. Then I would say really well
 
BABY GIRL I LOVE YOU TOO. MeMaw
 
would say I LOVE YOU TOO MY
 
SWEET LITTLE ANGEL.  I hope she is
 
as loved in heaven as she was and still
 
is here on earth.
 
 
 
Haylee's Smile
 
  
Haylee always smiled. This made me
 
smile. She loved everyone and only
 
asked to be loved in return. She was
 
the greatest person I have ever known.
 
She believed that Jesus watched us and
 
that he wanted us to do good things, so
 
she lived her life by trying to please
 
him. She was always generous and giving
 
by nature. She had a love for life and
 
shared it with others. She made those
 
around her happier just because she was
 
in the room; she lit the room up with
 
love and happiness.

I am a changed person for knowing
 
Haylee, loving Haylee, and losing her. I
 
hope one day I can love others as I
 
loved her and was loved by her. Here is
 
a poem her grandmother wrote - it says
 
it all.
 



HAYLEE
 
 
 

Haylee tangles up my thread,

Haylee lipsticks my mirrors red,

Haylee spills milk on her chair,

And scatters crackers everywhere!

Haylee’s tiny fingers twine

All around just one of mine,

Three of Haylee’s footsteps take

Only one of mine to make.

Haylee loves all little things,

Butterflies and bugs and dolls and
 
swings.

All the world’s a wondrous place,

Mirrored in her angel face.

Haylee has her own sweet way,

And we love her more every day.

No matter what the world may see

She’ll always be “sweet angel” to me.

Haylee has gone to Heaven above

Where she’s surrounded by peace and
 
love.

Her Pop was waiting with the angels
 
there
 
To guide her to Jesus with loving care.

Haylee is dancing with joy in her heart

And like all the angels she’s singing her
 
part

In heaven’s great life song she’s
 
clapping her hands
 
Cause she knows that one day we’ll be
 
together again.
 

Written by MeMaw

 

 

WRITTEN BY MOMMY (Sonya Mazzella)

MEMAW (Bonnie Easley)

DADDY (Tommy Mazzella)

  

MOTHER'S DAY POEM
NOTES ABOUT HAYLEES LIFE 
 
From the moment I felt you I loved you, unconditionally, as I made plans to hold you, rock you, and breast feed you:
You were tiny and helpless as you were small, Hush., Hush...This happens all day every day, it’ll be fine.   This is what the doctors and nurses told us: as we were nervous and they were not. 

After 18 hours of brutal labor it was time to be born. Your sweet, beautiful & Angelic face was laid first on top of my stomach This allowed me & your father 
to see you together for the first time, Breathtaking at your sight, we both cried at your beauty and your health, saying "God Bless” we were thanking God for our gift of love. 

At a simple Barbecue with family and friends, my sweet 4 Year old baby girl, was left with her step-grandmother , to watch her while she swam. This was so I could go inside and change my younger son's diaper and wet clothes for the ride home. But she left Haylee alone outside unsupervised and Haylee, beautiful,beautiful Haylee drowned alone & afraid.. Trust – I trusted her to watch my baby for a few moments. Be careful who you feel to be trustworthy. 

I can't believe after all this time, I can't get over Haylee Girl; I guess a love like ours is one of a kind, a love that is true.
It's been almost 1 full year since you left: 
To join Heaven's Angels; do you still remember me? 

It's like a bad dream that plays over & over in my head, of things I wish I'd done or words I would have said. There's not a day that goes by that I don't think of you, Even after all this time, what am I going to do? Maybe this is the way Mommies are supposed to feel. Perhaps our wounds are never intended to heal.
If I could ask but one question to God –this would be it:

"How is it God that you could need Haylee more than I?” 
 
 

 
MeMaw's Memories  
 Bonnie Easley (Grandmother)

HAYLEE DANYELLE MAZZELLA
by MeMaw 

This morning when I awoke I thought I had been in a really bad nightmare. Then I realized that it wasn’t a nightmare, but I was in reality, You are gone!

A huge part of me wants to believe that this tragic event didn’t happen and that you will come running in with your beautiful smiling face.. Every day I hope and pray that this will happen, yet my head knows it will not, even tho my heart wants it so desperately.

Haylee Danyelle Mazzella was special from the moment she was born – and oh! so beautiful inside and outside. She loved everybody and wanted everybody to love her. Her cousin, Shelby Easley, was her very best friend, although sometimes they acted more like sisters than cousins. Shelby was only five months younger than Haylee.

I kept Shelby and Haylee every Tuesday and Haylee would arrive first and at least a dozen times she would say, “When is Shelby coming?” “What is taking Shelby so long to get here?” Then when Shelby would arrive they would hug like they had not seen each other in weeks! They went to Seven Oaks Academy together for a year and Haylee always had to know which room Shelby was in.

Sonya would stop by my house almost every afternoon after school. Every day Haylee would ask if she could spend the night with me, which she did a couple of nights a week. Then we would all go to Church together on Sunday. I loved being with her.

She had a great love for books because her mother read to her from the time she was just a few months old. She was never satisfied with reading just one book, so we snuggled in bed and read two or three. .Then in her Pre-K class at Crescent City Christian School, she began to read small words and she was so proud that she could read to us.

Haylee was so happy when her baby brother, Thomas IV, was born. She became like a little mother to him plus playmate and protector.

She was such a happy, loving gentle little girl. I just don’t understand why God took her from us. She radiated love in every aspect of her short life and brought such joy to so many people

The day she died was the coldest, darkest day of my life and a part of me died along with her. It’s so hard to face each new day knowing she is gone. My grief is so intense that I am unable to even help Sonya and Tommy during this time. I can’t imagine what they must be going through when I, as her grandmother, feel the way I do…So I can only hold them and love them and ask for peace somewhere down the road.

People tell me that she is not really out there in the cemetery, but that she is in Heaven. I know that she is in Heaven, but that precious little body that I held, loved, kissed, smelled, caressed, and cuddled is in the cemetery!


I had no idea that grief could be so intense and shattering. My heart is like a raw, open, bleeding sore, unable to heal. It’s worse than any pain I could ever imagine and continues to get worse every day.

I adored you Haylee Girl and I know you adored me. Our relationship was unique and beautiful and I treasure every moment of your short life.

I’ll see you in Heaven soon, my darling Angel, so save me a room in your mansion. I love you My Girl, My Buddy, My Sweet Angel – forever and forever.


Written by a very sad and broken hearted grandmother,
MeMaw
(Bonnie Easley)
 
 
Daddy's Story / Nightmare   Thomas Mazzella
(Haylee's Daddy)

On June 3, 2006 I received the worst phone call of my life.  I am in the military and had my weekend duty. I was leaving around 4:15 pm and talked to my wife on my cell. My wife and kids were at a family/friend function swimming and everything was fine. Fifteen minutes later I received a call from my brother-in-law saying he was told something about Haylee and being under the water and get mom and go to the hospital. My wife had told someone to call me, but no one did. I had to call information, find the house where they were, and call there. I was told that my wonderful, beautiful, loving daughter had been under the water and was lifeless as the paramedics took her to the hospital. As I drove 40 miles to get to her I prayed to God "please don't take my baby!, please don't take my baby! I stayed in contact with my mother who was able to get to the hospital and I begged her to tell me how she was. Because of their fear of my driving safety she could not tell me. When I arrived at the ER, the first eye contact I made was with my brother-in-law and he got teary eyed. At that moment it confirmed to me my baby girl was gone. A few steps later my wife crying said " TOMMY SHE'S DEAD" I proceeded to punch and scream and saying NOOOO!
 
 

 

 

Graphic made for me by Pantelina / Sarofan; thank you!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

PINK IS THE COLOR

Written by Shelli on 6/9/08

Pink was the color God chose for His brush
when he lovingly painted Haylee’s sweet blush.
Pink was the color she always dressed in
Pink were her lips turned up in a grin
Pink were the ribbons tied in her hair
Pink was the color she so loved to wear
Pink was the color she loved very best
“The pink one!” she’d say
for every new dress
Head-to-toe pink wore this little girl
when her sweet little form would turn in a twirl
Pink was her heart with each little beat
Pink were ten toes upon her small feet
Pink was the color until that dark day
When dear little Haylee was taken away
The landscape has changed & the color is gone
Pink went away with Haylee’s last song
Pink is the color of presents and flowers
Placed on her grave in these lonely hours
But pink, without Haylee, just doesn’t look right
It’s missing what made it so lovely a sight
Instead of the pink, our eyes now see tears
Relentlessly falling for years upon years
Now pink is the color of longing and sorrow
We long to see Haylee on each new tomorrow
Pink is the color beheld with a sigh
As we cry “Dear Jesus, why’d she have to die??”
But wait, you might say; I see pink all the time
Your eyes are just different, so different from mine
Your eyes haven’t wept til the pink was erased
as they searched each new moment
for Haylee’s sweet face
One day the rainbow that shines from the sky
will bathe me in pink and open my eyes
For it will be time for my life here to end
And I know which Angel to greet me He’ll send
She’ll have wings of pink, all sparkling with glitter
Around me she’ll dance; around me she’ll flitter
The darkness then will leave my soul
Haylee’s pink will make me whole
But ’til I meet Haylee in Heaven one day
the color of life will always be gray.

For Haylee, Sonya, MeMaw, and everybody who loves Haylee

 

 

 

 

 

The world was a far better place with Haylee in it.  She was a magical little child, brimming over with the sweetest spirit you've ever felt.  You can see her sweetness in every smile she smiled, and she was always smiling.  Everybody loved her.  Everybody still loves her.  She's still touching hearts and lives with her angelic spirit.  People fall in love with Haylee the instant they see her & hear her story.

If you do a search for Haylee Mazzella on You Tube, you find out that there are over 60 different tribute videos that have been made for and about Haylee, from people all over the world who never even met her.  So many tears have been shed and are being shed every second of every day, because of the loss and the cruel absence of this precious little girl.

 

 

 

 


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Her Life - too short...  / Rachel "Ray-Ray" Bryant (Forever Loving Cousin )

HER LIFE. JULY 13, 2001. SHE CAME INTO OUR LIVES. I REMEMBER THAT DAY LIKE IT WAS YESTERDAY. I WAITED FOR HER OUTSIDE OF THE DELIVERY ROOM. I WAS SOOO EXCITED I WAS GETTING A NEW COUSIN. UP UNTIL HER I WAS THE YOUNGEST.

I LOVED HER SO MUCH. I'D ALWAYS PLAY WITH HER AND TICKLE HER EVEN THO SHE'D KICK AND SCREAM FOR ME TO STOP. THEN WHEN I STOPPED..SHE’D SAY.."UM RAY RAY...HOW BOUT WE DO THAT AGAIN"AND ID SAY OKAYY BABY. I CAN STILL HEAR HER SAYING "RAY RAY STOP IT!!' AND LAUGHING AS HARD AS SHE COULD..AT THE SAME TIME AND WE'D PLAY FOR HOURS. UNTIL WE GOT TOO TIRED.THEN WE'D WATCH MOVIES AND PLAY GAMES.SHE ALWAYS WANTED TO WATCH DINOSAUR MOVIES.SO WE ALWAYS DID. I REMEMBER I USED TO LAY IN A ROOM AND WATCH T.V. AND SHE’D COME IN AND LAY BY ME AND WATCH IT WITH ME.. AND SAY.."RAY RAY..CAN WE WATCH SOMETHING ELSE?" SOMETIMES WE WOULD SOMETIMES WE WOULDNT..SHE’D WATCH WITH ME EITHER WAY.

I CAN REMEMBER TAKING HER TO MY SCHOOL AND I CARRIED HER AROUND..I WAS SO PROUD TO BE HER COUSIN. SHE WAS SO SMART. ONE DAY SHE WAS FLIPPING THROUGH SOME OF HER SCHOOL PAPERS SHOWING ME HER GOOD GRADES..AND SHE SAYS.."EXCELLENT [NEXT PAPER] EXCELLENT PLUS [NEXT PAPER] EXCELLENT [NEXT PAPER] EXCELLENT.[ON AND ON]" THEN SHE FLIPPED TO ONE AND EXPECTING IT TO SAY EXCELLENT..SHE SAYS "EXCELLENT" AND THEN PAUSED... AND GOT THE CUTEST MOST CONFUSED LOOK ON HER FACE AND SAID.. "UHM..THAT ONES NOT SO EXCELLENT.." IT WAS THE FUNNIEST THING IN THE WORLD. I LOVE HER SO MUCH NOW AND THEN. I MISS HER IN A WAY THAT I COULD NEVER EXPLAIN. SHE MEANT SO MUCH TO ME AND I WILL NEVER FORGET HER. AND I WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND WHY SHES GONE.

HAYLEE DANYELLE MAZZELLA. 7-13-01 TIL 6-03-06 REST IN PEACE MY ANGEL...I LOVE YOU.I DONT KNOW WHY THIS HAPPENED HOW COULD GOD LET A FOUR YEAR OLD DROWN? DIDN'T HE SEE HER? WHAT DID SHE DO WRONG? SHE WAS SO PERFECT, SHE WAS BEAUTIFUL AND SHE LOVED EVERYONE. SHE NEVER GOT MAD AT ANY ONE AND THERE WAS NO ONE SHE DIDN'T LIKE. SHE ALWAYS SHARED HER TOYS WITH HER LITTLE BROTHER AND SHE LOVED HIM SO MUCH SHE WAS SO EXCITED TO BE A BIG SISTER. WHAT WAS SHE THINKING WHEN SHE WAS UNDER THE WATER DID SHE THINK NO ONE LOVED HER AND NO ONE WANTED TO SAVE HER? OR DID SHE KNOW WHEN SHE WAS DYING? DID IT HURT? WE HAVE SO MANY QUESTIONS..THAT WE WILL NEVER KNOW THE ANSWERS TO. I MEAN SHE WAS IN THE SHALLOW END. SHE COULD STAND UP IN THE SHALLOW END, SHE HAD NO BRUISES SO NO ONE FORCED HER TO STAY UNDER. HOW DID SHE NOT KNOW HOW TO GET TO THE TOP? IT WAS SO CLOSE TO HER..SHE KNEW SHE COULD STAND THERE AND WHY WEREN’T THOSE PEOPLE WATCHING HER LIKE THEY TOLD HER MOM THEY WOULD?

SHE ASKED TO SWIM FOR 10 MORE MINUTES AND HER MOM HESITANTLY SAID YES AND SHE WENT INSIDE TO CHANGE HER LITTLE BRO AND PEOPLE SAID THEY’D WATCH HER..BUT THEY WEREN’T. WHY DID SHE HAVE TO ASK FOR 10 MORE MINUTES& WHY DID HER MOM SAY YES? IT'S NOT HER MOM'S FAULT THO THE WORST PART I GUESS WAS THAT IT COULD HAVE BEEN PREVENTED BY ONE SIMPLE WORD SHE COULD HAVE SAID NO. DID NO ONE REALIZE SHE WAS BEING QUIET AND SHE WASNT TO BE SEEN AT THE TOP OF THE POOL? WHY DIDNT I GO TO NEW ORLEANS THAT WEEKEND? I HAD THE CHANCE, BUT NO I WANTED TO STAY HERE AND GO TO A PARTY IF I WASN'T SELFISH SHE WOULD STILL BE ALIVE. I WOULD HAVE BEEN IN THAT POOL WITH HER SHE WOULDN'T HAVE DIED AND NO ONE WOULD BE GOING THROUGH ALL THIS PAIN.

I NEVER CALLED HER BACK. MY MOM TOLD ME TWO DAYS BEFORE THIS HAPPENED TO CALL MY GRANDMA BECAUSE HAYLEE WAS AT HER HOUSE AND SHE WANTED TO TALK TO ME BUT I NEVER CALLED. I NEVER GOT TO TELL HER HOW MUCH I LOVED HER AND I NEVER GOT TO TELL HER HOW BEAUTIFUL SHE WAS AND SHE NEVER GOT TO TELL ME HOW BEAUTIFUL I LOOKED IN MY CHEERLEADING PICS, I HAD TO HEAR THAT FROM MY GRANDMA AFTER HAYLEE DIED. SHE WANTED TO BE A CHEERLEADER JUST LIKE ME WHEN SHE GREW UP SHE ALWAYS GOT SOO EXCITED WHEN SHE GOT TO GO TO MY GAMES AND WATCH ME AND I'D CARRY HER AROUND AND SHOW HER OFF. I WAS SO PROUD TO BE HER COUSIN & SHE WAS PROUD TO BE MINE SHE LOVED IT WHEN I CAME TO NEW ORLEANS..SHE WOULD SIT OUTSIDE WAITING FOR ME ALL DAY EVEN THOUGH I USUALLY WOULDN'T GET THERE TIL AFTER 10.

SHE WAS MY FAVORITE COUSIN, SHE WANTED TO LOOK LIKE ME AND ACT LIKE MY BROTHER BUT SHE CANT. SHE'S A REAL ANGEL NOW BUT I STILL LOVE HER.I GUESS THIS SHOULD JUST WAKE US UP IF YOU LOVE SOME ONE TELL THEM BECAUSE NO MATTER WHAT AGE THEY ARE YOU NEVER KNOW WHEN THEY’RE GONNA GO... HAYLEE DANYELLE MAZZELLA/ PRINCESS/MY BABY/ HAYLEE GIRL/MIDGET/ MY ANGEL. I LOVE YOU MORE THAN WORDS CAN DESCRIBE AND I WILL NEVER FORGET YOU. YOU MADE SUCH A BIG IMPACT ON SO MANY PEOPLES LIVES. I HOPE ONE DAY I CAN LEARN TO HAVE A HEART LIKE YOU DID. I HOPE I CAN LOVE EVERYONE THE WAY YOU DID. I KNOW YOU HAD AN AMAZING LIFE.. THE BEST POSSIBLE. YOU ARE THE BEST COUSIN I COULD HAVE ASKED FOR. I'M SORRY FOR EVERY TIME I DIDN'T PLAY WITH YOU AND I'M SO SO SO SORRY I DIDN'T CALL YOU ENOUGH. I LOVE YOU AND I WILL SEE YOU IN HEAVEN ONE DAY.

I PROMISE.

LOVE RAY-RAY

(RACHEL EASLEY BRYANT –

HAYLEE’S LOVING COUSIN)

 

A Poem For my Baby Angel  /

Rachel "Ra-Ra" Bryant (Loving Cousin )


THE BOX.
Some are square,
Some are round.
Some are filled with things
That will never be found.
Some hold comfort, 
Some hold joy.
But one holds the sister,
Of a 2 year old boy.
In that box,
Is where she lays.
In that box,
Forever she will stay.
We want to hold her,
& smell her soft hair.
But inside we know,
She cant move from there.
We miss her so much,                              
Words can’t explain.
Yet we try so hard,              
To cover our pain.
We lie to ourselves,
By saying it’s a dream.
And even months later,
That’s still how it seems.
Something so young,
Lying six feet under ground.
In a silver box ,
That will never be found.
The contents of that box,
Are greatly missed.
Whats in that box,
Will never again be kissed.
That box means the world to me,
Cause inside that box…
Rests my sweet angel,
HAYLEE.
- a poem for Haylee written by Ra-Ra Haylee’s loving cousin – 

 

My sweet baby girl

Mommy is trying so hard to be strong. But I feel broken, no -- shattered. I can’t find the pieces of my life much less put them all together. I just don’t know how a mother survives this kind of agony. I ache for you with every breath I take, with every fiber of my being.

 

 

 

Baby Girl, (By Sonya Mazzella, Mommy of Haylee)

It gets harder every day. We take for granted that our 4 year olds will turn 5 and go to kindergarten. I don’t like to leave the house but sometimes I must. When I do I cry and get angry at all of the mothers shopping for their child’s school supplies. I want the world to stop and feel the pain of losing you. I want them to not feel right about just moving on. I know that's unreasonable but my pain overwhelms me and I can’t help how I feel. I also know you wouldn’t want me to be so bitter and angry but it’s hard for me baby girl, so hard.

You were so excited about going to kindergarten and getting to graduate at the end of the year. You were also so excited that you and JoJo would graduate (he’s a senior) in the same year. I told you you could get your pictures taken together in your cap and gown; you were so excited you could not wait. Just another thing you will miss. It seems that all that comes to my mind these days are all the things we had planned and all of them you will miss. All that I will miss watching you grow through. You were my life; we wrapped our lives around our children. To take one away shatters that whole plan and unity. We feel lost and alone all the time. I wish I could change that day, and be able to watch you grow up. I love you more every day of my life. I hope you know that.

HOW I MISS YOU, MY BABY GIRL!   My life seems so empty without you. You were my light and love. When I had you I was so scared but once I brought you home motherhood seem to fit. You were all I cared about. Being a mother was number one. You were and are so special. Your love, laughter and gentle spirit made my life so rich and fulfilled. You gave my life a whole new meaning, a good one. I loved being your mother. I used to love when people would see us together. They would always say how beautiful you were, and they were right. You were the most beautiful child I have ever seen. I was proud and honored to be your mother. We had so much fun together. I looked forward to living every day with you. My life had never been so exciting or full of laughter.

I loved the fact that you were so lovable. You loved life and everyone you met during yours. Your beauty was not just skin deep it went straight to the bone. You seemed to bring out the best in people. It’s as if you brightened the room and anyone who was in it. You were so free with your love. Four years was too short. I dream of all you could have been. I ask why you were taken from me, but there is no answer. I see no purpose in any of this. All I see is pain and anger. You were the best of us all. I endure my life each day but I don’t really live it. I just can’t seem to without you. I know that makes me selfish but I am only human. How I miss you each day. My pain, anger and dismay seem to get worse every day. I wish you were here, my Sweet Baby Girl. I love you and I always will.

 

 SWEET BABY GIRL (BY MEMAW)   I think the first year that you were gone, I was so in shock that I truly believed you would come back.  I held my breath every time I saw a little girl with blonde pig tails.  Then the shock would engulf me again as I realized that it was not you.

After the first year, I began to realize that I would never again hold you in my arms, kiss you, put bows in your hair, kiss your smiling face, make your lunch for school, or even snuggle with you in my bed.  I guess I died a little inside as I came to the understanding that I would never see you again (until I get to Heaven). 

I became angry and resentful.  I wanted you back in my life.  You were so much a part of my life that it has been tremendously hard for me to look forward to new days and weeks to come.  I still have dreams of you and wake to be disappointed again and again when I realize that you are not here.

As long as I live and breathe, a part of you will live.  You live in my heart and soul forever.  You are an eternal part of my being.   I go to sleep every night wishing you were here - praying that God will let me wake up and find that this is all a bad nightmare.

I love you my darling Haylee.  You are always my Buddy and my Girl.  No one can ever take your place in my heart.   I hope that you still remember how much we loved each other.  My love will continue forever, my baby.  I love you....

My sadness continues.  Time does not make it better.

 

 

Tuesday was your 2nd. Angelversary of leaving those who loved you so.  I cannot believe that it has been two years since I held and kissed your beautiful face.  I think of you all the time and when I sleep, I dream that you are here with me - only to wake and realize that you are truly gone forever.

Time certainly does not 'heal all wounds'.  My heart re-breaks every time I think of you and your sweetness.  I remember the wonderful times we shared and then I get sad because I know that there will never be more memories added.  Four short years was not long enough to satisfy my longings.  I know for certain that my heart will never heal.

Sometimes I think that if I had not loved you so deeply, God would have left you here on earth for a longer period of time.  If that is true, I truly apologize for all the pain it has caused your loving family.  You were pure joy and sunshine in my life and all of those who knew you. 

I don't understand why God chose to take you away at such a tender age.  I try not to be angry, but at times I can't help but question why.  I know that I will see you again one day, but that does not help my pain today and tomorrow.

I love you my darling Haylee.  I miss you so much more than mere words can express.  Please don't forget me.

I love you, Baby Girl, now and always.

Memaw (Bonnie Easley)

 

  MISSING YOU MORE, BY MOMMY & DADDY  

 Baby Girl, Today is mommy and daddy's 9 year anniversary. It seems like we have nothing to celebrate since we have lost our gift of you. We miss you more and more every day and wonder how we will ever overcome our pain, grief and emptiness, or if we will. Some say you learn to deal with the pain but I believe that if I am going to feel pain like this for the rest of my life I hope it is a short life. I am hollow on the inside and walking around like an empty shell, I loved you more than I ever thought possible and I truly hope you knew that. I tried to be a good mother but somehow failed by allowing others to take charge of you when I should have. Perhaps one day you will forgive me. As for me forgiveness will never come. I will grieve and mourn your loss the rest of my days and never forgive my self for not being there when you needed me most. I love you now and always my Baby Girl.

 

 

ONE YEAR AND OUR PAIN AND AGONY ARE WORSE (MEMAW, BONNIE EASLEY)

BABY GIRL HAYLEE, 
ONE YEAR AGO TODAY WAS AGONY FOR ALL OF US, THE ABSOLUTE WORST DAY IN OUR LIVES.   TODAY IS STILL AGONY EVEN WORSE.  IT'S HARD TO BELIEVE THAT WE HAVE LIVED A WHOLE YEAR WITHOUT YOUR LOVING TOUCH AND SMILE.

I MISS SO MUCH ABOUT YOU.  I MISS YOUR PHONE CALLS SAYING, "HI, MEMAW, IT'S ME, HAYLEE.  WHATCHA  DOING?'  CAN I COME SPEND NIGHT WITH YOU?"  I MISS YOU SAYING "I DIALED YOUR NUMBER AND MOMMY DOESN'T KNOW I CALLED YOU!"  I CAN HEAR YOUR LAUGHTER AS YOU SAID IT.

I MISS OPENING MY FRONT DOOR AND YOU JUMPING INTO MY ARMS.  I MISS YOU SAYING "I LOVE YOU MORE MUCH"  I MISS WATCHING YOU PLAY WITH BUBBA.  I MISS YOU SNUGGLING WITH ME AT NIGHT IN MY BED.  

I MISS YOU TELLING ME THAT YOU ARE NOT GOING TO MISS ME WHEN I FLY OUT TO SEE AUNT SHERRY BECAUSE YOU'RE GOING WITH ME.

I MISS YOU SO MUCH I ACHE, AND I FEEL LIKE I CAN'T CATCH MY BREATH.  JUST REALIZING YOU ARE GONE MAKES ME FEEL SO EMPTY INSIDE, A HOLE THAT WILL NEVER HEAL OR CLOSE UP.

I LOVE & MISS YOU MY SWEET DARLING.  I HOPE YOU CAN SEE AND FEEL MY LOVE.  YOU WILL ALWAYS BE MY GIRL AND MY BUDDY.

 

 WHAT I MISS MOST ABOUT HAYLEE BY MEMAW

I miss waking up in the morning and she is not there snuggling with me.  I miss her singing 'You are My Sunshine' to me before I wake up.I miss her riding piggyback from the bed to the kitchen, giggling all the way,
I miss her sharing pancakes with me on Saturday mornings.  I miss her wanting to help me cook and wash dishes.  I miss helping dress her and picking out bows to match her dress.
I miss going to the store or to the mall and people there stopping me to say how beautiful she was.
I miss her pointing out all the pink dresses and saying those are the ones she wants to buy (everything pink!!!)  But she never forgot about Bubba.  She always said, now don't forget about Bubba.  He needs clothes too.
I miss hearing her tell her mother how beautiful she was when she dressed up to go out.
 I miss her telling me on  the spur of the moment how much she loved me.  I miss her walking in my high heeled shoes and always wanting to wear my lipstick and blush.

I miss her wanting to spend the night with me almost every day and when she couldn't she would ask me "Can you spend with me?"
I have millions more; I am writing a journal about who she was, what she said and how she loved.  
I wish the whole world could know how special she was in 4 short years  I LOVE YOU, BABY GIRL...

 

BY MOMMY, SONYA MAZZELLA   
Haylee Danyelle Mazzella passed away on June 3, 2006 at the age of 4, due to a needless drowning. Her birthday was only a few weeks away. The day she was born was the greatest day of my life and the day she died was the worst (too hard for words to convey). This accident could have been prevented if the people whose care she was left in had simply done their job and paid attention. But now my family’s lives are forever shattered. Haylee was the one thing in my life that I felt was good and that I was able to help grow to be better than I ever was, she had a bright future. It was taken in an instant. Please cherish every moment you have with your children, tomorrow is never promised.
 

 

 

 

Baby Girl,

I am so lonely for you and without you. Today MeMaw and Aunt Sherry gave me a locket. It has your name engraved on it and when you open it it has your beautiful dance picture and a lock of your hair. You are already with me all day every day but now I have a reminder of your beauty to show to everyone.

I feel like my life has stopped without you. I don't understand how my 4 year old could be taken from me. I would gladly take your place. I hope I am strong enough to raise your brother and love him the way I know you would want me to. I love you now and always. I hope you know how much you are loved and missed. I also hope you knew it before you were taken.


Love,

Grieving Mommy
 

 


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